Uncertainty

There's uncertainty. Yes. And lots of writing about it too. Bombarded with news from all over the place, and it's confusing and scary and I'm not really sure what is going on. In a time that was already uncomfortable, moving away from home for university. This new situation seems to surpass that earlier uncertainty tenfold.

It's really sunny outside. The golden elms are glowing and there is hardly a breeze. The birds are singing softly. A juxtaposition of the chaos ensuing. It's not right. The weather doesn't match the mood hanging around. It did yesterday, grey clouds and the mist blending into the sea, an eerie uncertainty.

Social media is a flurry. Positive things. Negative things. Swirling and scrolling. So I'll keep my eyes outside to the tress and the sky. And sit on my bed and realise that I need to stay present. Oh those ambiguous words. Stay present. Hear the sounds outside. See my room around me. Feel the bed under me. Smell the fresh air flowing into my nose from through the window. Maybe I won't be in this room (my university accommodation) for much longer, I could be gone in a couple of days. Back home to New Plymouth, to family and a little bit of familiarity in a time that is just so unfamiliar.

I'd like to go and sit on the beach and watch the waves come in and go out with as much regularity as they have forever. The waves don't stop breaking. They just keep flowing. I can't wait to go and dive into the sea and feel the water hold me up and wash around me and wrap me in a big ocean hug.

That's what is weird too. In a time when hugs are needed to provide comfort in such an anxious time, they're discouraged. I want to hug everyone, squeeze all the discomfort out and bring back some peace. Some peace to match the weather outside, sun, still. But we can't really, not really meant to. So I'm sending you all a big writing hug. To wrap you right up, to tell you it's ok to be uncertain. That sometimes the sea blends into the mist and it's hard to tell where one ends and the other starts. That's ok.

Go outside and sit by the ocean, sit under some trees, listen to the birds. Let them wrap you in a big hug too.

Kia kaha, kia māia, kia manawanui | Be strong, be brave, be steadfast.

xx